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Washington, DC-- President Bush, with a month left for major remodeling, decided to go with a plan by Dick Cheney and Senator McCain to convert the White House heating system to coal.

"We are doing this for security and energy independence reasons," noted Bush.

The three politicians will be helping remove the old heaters, using dangerous and flammable natural gas, along with five hired construction workers and heating specialist.

"Eventually, we can convert to radiators, but for now we will use coal to heat the private quarters of President Obama and all the water in the White House," explained Bush, reading from an index card. They found the plans at Hearth.com and immediately set to work without building permits. "The President does not need a building permit on White House grounds," explained Cheney.

Senator McCain has arranged for free coal from West Virginia for the next 50 years, with the White House only paying for transportation.

"President Obama can install his own solar panels if he wants to save on the hot water bill in spring and fall. We don't do any of that stuff, as we have unlimited coal in this country," added Cheney.